


Let Me Share Your Sweetest Memories

by ThePagemistress



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 21:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11541156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePagemistress/pseuds/ThePagemistress
Summary: All Kimi wants is to share a championship winning podium with Sebastian.





	Let Me Share Your Sweetest Memories

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this ages ago when I watched the 2013 Indian GP with Kimi's rather uncharacteristic, aggressive driving and it got me thinking. Then seeing him so miserable on the Silverstone podium last weekend reminded me of it.

2010 he watched it happen in a hotel room in Cardiff.

Usually he would have already been on his way back home but he knew, even with odds stacked against him, Sebastian could win his first championship that evening and he didn’t want to miss it.

It was surprisingly bittersweet.

He grinned at the team radio of Sebastian barely able to get words out, knowing just how much pressure he’d been under all year. Knowing how hard he'd worked and how much he deserved it. Seeing him fall apart as the German national anthem began playing softened the smile into something fonder.

But the smile dimmed altogether at the celebration. A sudden pang of regret hit him square in the chest as he watched Lewis and Jenson cover him in champagne. He hadn’t missed being in Formula 1 all year, not even knowing that he could have been in a championship worthy car. Right up until now. What he wouldn’t have given to be able to celebrate that championship with Sebastian. To douse him in champagne, to coax a laugh out of him even as his emotions continued to spill over. To revel in the sheer exuberance that is Sebastian when he’s at the highest of highs. To indulge in that boyish smile and perhaps a bone-crushing hug.

He turned the TV off once they started interviewing Christian Horner. After sitting in silence for a moment to mull over his thoughts, he shot a quick text across to the German, congratulating him on the victory.

It wasn’t until he awoke the following morning that he received a response.

~*~

2011 and he was sat at home, watching the race with a beer in hand.

Sebastian had been dominant this time around, winning the championship in Japan. But he was no less ecstatic about it. Fewer tears, more yelling. He’d had the measure of everyone and was fit to burst with renewed confidence. It was good look on him.

Kimi was already a few beers in by the time the podium rolled around. And it was a little less sweet and a tad more bitter second time around.

He hadn’t kept as close an eye on this season as he had the previous year but he’d seen Seb and Jenson grow closer as it wore on. The championship fight (as much as it could be referred to as one) had been between them all year and they’d shared many podiums, including this one. And Kimi felt his gut twist, watching for a second year in a row as Jenson got to experience the full force of Seb’s excitement.

He downed his beer before immediately cracking open another one just as the podium started. He’d shared podiums with Sebastian before, of course, back when he was still at Ferrari. But this was different. There was something so compelling about him in this state that Kimi just wanted to be there. He hated it. Hated that he wasn’t there, hated that he wanted to be. Hated that he felt like he was missing out on something important.

He knew what it felt like to win a championship and to celebrate it on the podium. Sometimes he wished Sebastian could have been there for his victory. He wondered if Sebastian had thought the same thing last year. But as he watched him go crazy with the champagne up there in front of the Japanese fans, covering Jenson and Fernando in the spray, he suspected not. Anyone would do.

He sent off another congratulatory text. Almost a copy+paste of the previous one.

He had to wait until the following afternoon to hear back.

~*~

2012 and things were different. Yet also very familiar.

Upon his return to F1, it was almost like he had never left as far as Sebastian went. He always made an effort to seek Kimi out and they were closer than ever. Not just off-track but on it as well. Kimi took a small amount of pride in how pleased Sebastian seemed about this.

It was another hard-fought championship, one that he was even in contention for at one point. But ultimately it came down to Sebastian and Fernando and the German came out on top.

Kimi didn’t wind up on the podium for the Brazilian GP but then neither did Sebastian. It meant that Kimi could push through the melee to congratulate him in person, just like he’d been wanting to do the last couple of years.

Sebastian was swamped by what felt like the entire Red Bull team, being pulled from one person to the next, clinging on to all of them as if they had each won him the title. Kimi was just another person in the line, he wasn’t even sure Seb realised who he was at first.

He could see the moment it clicked, Seb’s eyes lighting up as he went in for another hug, grin growing wider, practically vibrating out of his skin. Kimi still had his helmet on, obscuring just how broad his own grin was. But just as soon as it happened, it was over. Seb was pulled away by Christian, hoisted on the shoulders of his adoring team and carried away for their own celebration.

It wasn’t enough. If anything, Kimi felt greedier than ever. He’d gotten a glimpse of what he’d wanted but it was all too fleeting. He still coveted that podium more than anything. He only wished he hadn’t missed his chance.

~*~

2013 and he could almost taste the champagne.

They were running first and second at the Indian Grand Prix, Sebastian on for his fourth championship in a row. He would finally be able to sate the festering desire that had been building for so many years, a desire that he’d stopped looking at too closely in recent months.

7 laps to go and he could feel his tyres going off but he kept his foot and head down. When he saw Rosberg breeze past, he didn’t care. Third was enough. Third was plenty.

4 laps to go and his teammate was filling his mirrors. On fresher tyres and a contract signed for next year, Kimi knew a call would be coming through any moment. But fuck if he was going to listen to it. He wasn’t being paid enough for that kind of bullshit. Quite literally. Grosjean dummied to the right then moved to the left but he covered him off, running him wide in the process. It wasn’t a move he pulled often but fuck, he was _so close_. He couldn’t lose it, not now. Not with 4 laps to go.

A team member came over the radio, yelling and swearing at him to get out of the fucking way. He didn’t know who it was, didn’t care. The frustration that had been building throughout the season came to a head as he yelled back, gripping the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip as he watched Romain snatch third away from him. Snatch away that last scrap of hope.

He ended up pitting on the last lap, setting the fastest lap of the race. Maybe to vent his frustration, maybe to leave his own mark on Sebastian’s championship race or maybe just to be petulant. He didn’t really know. The adrenaline dissipated almost as soon as he got out of the car, leaving him feeling empty. 

He didn’t stick around for the celebrations.

~*~

2017 and he waits. Perhaps he could still get his wish after all.


End file.
